Letterman, Polanski and Hollywood Morality

•October 4, 2009 • 1 Comment

The privileged elites of the arts and entertainment community have always felt an entitlement to craft their own moral universe–to throw off the boring, bourgious, Christianity-rooted constraints that cause us rubes in fly-over country to shun deviants and prosecute child rapists.

The recent revelation about the extortion attempt against David Letterman and the extradition of Roman Polanski are only two reminders of this ugly truth. More than 100 celebs recently signed a petition in support of Polanski. Among them director Wes Anderson, whose soon-to-be-relased movie, Fantastic Mr. Fox, is targeted at children.

I’m usually not a big fan of boycotts. But I can’t think of a better way to send a message to Hollywood than for vast swaths of America to quietly ignore Mr. Anderson’s upcoming offering.

Of course not everybody in show biz is ready to wink and shrug at child rape. Chris Rock was sputtering with disbelief on the Jay Leno Show.

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UK Times: “The Fans Killed Their Idol”

•June 27, 2009 • Leave a Comment

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The Times of London featured a brilliant and brutally blunt op-ed piece by Janice Turner today on the maniacal Michael Jackson fan base.

The subhead to the headline quoted above gives you a feel for how Turner feels about the Jackson idol worshipers: “Those who professed to love Michael Jackson were vampires, feeders and jackals – their adulation hastened his end.”

Turner starts her dismemberment of the mindless Michael mourners this way:

Outside UCLA hospital they gather with their candles and their teddies, spooky lookalikes in full Thriller garb, wan teenagers wearing a single lace glove. They sway and sing I’ll Be There with sad faces to disguise the serotonin buzz from their frenzied collective mourn-in. Fans cry now for Michael Jackson, but they killed him. They always do.

Deeper into the lengthy essay we read a paragraph that could serve as the manifesto for this blog:

Fandom is the curse of our age. It has turned from admiration into obsession, respectful homage to idolatory. It is a virus to which no one seems immune. Once in New York, I passed a huge excited crowd outside a fancy hotel. What were they waiting for? Apparently Paris Hilton was inside having lunch.

Turner takes no prisoners but every word rings sadly true. Do read the whole thing.

The Strange Story of Michael Jackson Ends

•June 26, 2009 • Leave a Comment

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Michael Jackson is dead at 50. Cause of death?

No matter what the coroner determines, the true cause will be the same disease that killed Anna Nicole Smith, Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe and scores of other “stars.” The killer is slow poisoning of the human soul by the toxic effects of adulation and wealth.

Enormous wealth makes almost anything possible. And the adulation of throngs and enablement of sycophants makes everything permissible.

Elsewhere, I have written:

The sad fact is, post-modern, post-Christian society hasn’t stopped being religious. The culture has simply replaced the old God with new gods. The new cathedrals and worship houses are concert arenas and multiplexes. Inside, you’ll find masses of misguided people who assume famous folks are smarter, wiser, happier and generally more special than the rest of us.

They’re not.

The truth is, many, though not all, celebrities could not truthfully answer in the affirmative the question “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?” Many are fools in the purest, crystalline, biblical sense of the term. Many are genuinely unpleasant, dysfunctional people. In fact, according to a recent scientific study, celebrities tend to die prematurely at a rate two times higher than the general population because they are so prone to adopting self destructive ways.

Certainly, anyone who dies at 50 has passed too young. The passing of Michael Jackson–an incredibly talented man who lost his mind as he lost his way–is no more of a tragedy than any other premature death. But it is no less one.

Oscar Night, Holy Night

•February 22, 2009 • Leave a Comment

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Once again we’ve reached the most sacred, high-holy holiday on the cult of celebrity worship calendar. It’s Oscar Night.

Other sacred festivals coincide with the MTV Music Awards, the Emmys, Grammys and Cannes. There are also lesser known rites and cultic observances during the year such as the annual “Running of the Skanks”–a spectacle in which spoiled trust-fund tarts stagger out of a Beverly Hills night club and run up Wilshire Boulevard carrying very tiny dogs in Prada carriers.

Joaquin and Dave

•February 12, 2009 • Leave a Comment

At some point many years ago, David Letterman stopped being the brilliantly funny wise-ass and just became an ass. But for a few moments last night, the Dave we miss — the one that had hilarious bizarro-world encounters with Crispin Glover’s kung fu moves (1987), Farah Fawcett’s surreal ramblings (1997), and Andy Kaufmann’s maniacal rants (1980, 1981 1982, 1983, etc, etc.)– was back.

And it was awesome.

FLASH: Sarah Palin Somehow Survives Being Banned from Madonna Concert She Wasn’t Remotely Interested in Attending

•October 7, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Bizarrely, Madonna decided to preemptively ban Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin from her concert tour. Learning that she won’t get to see a gristly grandma with an awful voice bump and grind must be have been a crushing blow for the beautiful, accomplished woman who may soon be the second most powerful person in the world.

Let us all pray that Governor Palin will emerge from this devastating setback stronger and wiser.

In a related story . . . Palin has also been banned from the Mangy Dog Scratching Olympics by the fleas.

Paul Newman . . .

•September 27, 2008 • Leave a Comment

. . . stayed married to the same woman for 50 years. That’s increasingly a rarity in America. It’s nigh unto freakish in demented Hollywood.

Well done, sir.

Equally rare is your brand of Hollywood liberalism – calm, gracious and rational. You’ll be missed.